drunktrophywife:

One of the sprouse twins has an Instagram dedicated to taking pictures of people who take pictures of him and it’s amazing

(Source: drunktrophywife)

138,986 notes

stunningpicture:

I was trying to make an epic scene with titans and shit, but got frustrated so I did this instead

stunningpicture:

I was trying to make an epic scene with titans and shit, but got frustrated so I did this instead

33,796 notes

becausewhynoteathumans:

im really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time

57,712 notes

corenevipera:

fovelshucker:

TODAY MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER BURNED A DOLLAR IN FRONT OF US BUT HE FORGOT TO TELL US THAT THE DOLLAR WOULDNT BURN ONLY THE ALCOHOL WOULD SO HE TOOK OUT A 100 DOLLAR BILL AND SOAKED IT IN ALCOHOL AND WERE LIKE “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE CAUGHT IT ON FIRE AND WE ALL YELLED AT HIM BUT THEN IT WENT OUT AND THE BILL WAS FINE AND WE WERE SILENT FOR 20 MINUTES


How to get your class to shut up for the entire period: science teacher edition

(Source: actuallybadcop)

368,994 notes

officialpigeon:

"Money can’t make you happy"

WELL IT SURE AS HELL AINT GONNA MAKE ME SAD

640,469 notes

hula-chili-soup:

is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class

320,510 notes

woodmeat:


chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.

woodmeat:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.

477,561 notes

sammyjacksons:

I hate when you get hit with those random feelings of panic and the nagging sense that something isnt right even though everything around you looks fine and you’re just standing there staring with your heart rate steadily increasing and your hands trembling and you’re so frustrated because you don’t know what’s wrong or what you’re so scared about and man I just really hate that

(Source: stilesmcalll)

21,207 notes

sswishswishstab:

loveandchloroform:

Nice outlaw name, did your mom pick it out for you?

image

98,092 notes

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

armadillo:

REAL TALK IF THERES A FIRE AT MY SCHOOL I AM NOT WALKING IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND THEN GETTING MY NAME MARKED OFF IM RUNNING FOR MY LIFE AND IM TAKING MY GOD DAMN BAG WITH ME 

one time there was an unscheduled fire alarm and i just happened to have my bag on my shoulder when it went off so my teacher made me go back into what, to his knowledge, was a burning building so i could put my bag back

(Source: bastille)

242,838 notes

ossricchau:

this kid in my drama class said “i relate to loki on a personal level because we’re both adopted and yearn for world domination”

102,204 notes

silverie-stitches:

lusoric:

gallowscalibratorh3h3:

……WHATS SAD IS I HAVE SEVERAL GREAT GUYS I GAME WITH AND THEYA RE SWEETHEARTS AND NOT THE ASSHOLES WHO MAKE FUN OF FEMALE GAMERS
AND I ONCE DID THIS AND OMG I WAS LIKE COVERED WITH AMO AND I LAUGHED ALL
'AWW YEEEA MY MAN WHORES KNOW HOW TO KEEP MAMA HAPPY'
AND I SWEAR THEY LAUGHED SO MUCH ONCE CHOKED ON A CIGARETTE LKSDHFLHK

At first I thought this was going to be one of those “gamer girl” posts about how “girls suck at video games lolzor” and I was like ugh, running out of ammo is a normal thing it doesn’t make you bad gamer and being a girl doesn’t make you a bad gamer. THEN I SAW THE REST OF THE GIF OMF

silverie-stitches:

lusoric:

gallowscalibratorh3h3:

……WHATS SAD IS I HAVE SEVERAL GREAT GUYS I GAME WITH AND THEYA RE SWEETHEARTS AND NOT THE ASSHOLES WHO MAKE FUN OF FEMALE GAMERS

AND I ONCE DID THIS AND OMG I WAS LIKE COVERED WITH AMO AND I LAUGHED ALL

'AWW YEEEA MY MAN WHORES KNOW HOW TO KEEP MAMA HAPPY'

AND I SWEAR THEY LAUGHED SO MUCH ONCE CHOKED ON A CIGARETTE LKSDHFLHK

At first I thought this was going to be one of those “gamer girl” posts about how “girls suck at video games lolzor” and I was like ugh, running out of ammo is a normal thing it doesn’t make you bad gamer and being a girl doesn’t make you a bad gamer. THEN I SAW THE REST OF THE GIF OMF

(Source: 4gifs)

525,050 notes

Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge to another level, while disrespecting their Captain. Not cool guys, it’s not your turn yet, be patient.

17,254 notes

obmartells:

Doctor Who Fest: Day #5

↳ Who is your favourite Doctor?: Ten

obmartells:

Doctor Who Fest: Day #5

↳ Who is your favourite Doctor?: Ten

1,348 notes