sometimes all u can say is “yikes” and just move tf on lol
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the struggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.
SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole.
I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.
This is never not funny
I need feminism; because the bra straps of a twelve year old shouldn’t make a 40 year old married principal with two daughters “uncomfortable”
So am I allowed to walk around adult women who are mothers and grandmothers at work with my cock out or what
in what world is someone’s dick equivalent to a fucking bra strap
an actual conversation i overheard on the train
- person 1: i'm not against gay marriage but i feel sorry for people with 2 dads
- person 2: what? why?
- person 1: they have to put up with twice the dad jokes
- person 2: omfg